Stand your ground with- Control Freaks

How to deal with the Control Freaks

• ·         Stay as calm as you can-the best way is to try to maintain comfortable distance so they remained centered while you speak with them. The other method breathes slowly and deeply and is the best way to relax them.
• ·         See if the controlling person needs professional help-most of the time the control freak may suffer from personal disorder as early as from their childhood. If you suspect that is then case you can advise the person to seek professional help.
• ·         Be very patient-control freaks need to stay in control even though they don’t have much to say.Don't participate in power struggle with them you will make the matters worse. The best solution is to listen to them and ask questions in order to reaffirm that you listened to them; they will move on easier this way and calm down.
• ·         Set limits-on how much you will take; you may need to remind the controller several times always in a kind, neutral way voice. You need to warn them what will happen if the behavior continues and follow on your promise.
• ·         Speak very slowly-the normal tendency is to gear up and speak rapidly when you deal with control freak. Always stay calm and be focused when you deal with control freak.
• ·         Avoid the person as much as you can- sometimes is better to avoid the behavior of the control freak. If the person is the family member try to stay out of their way and no need to please the control freak. The control freak will not and cannot change without help and remind yourself this controlling behavior is their coping mechanism and deep seated problem not yours.
• ·         Praise the controlling person-you must be able to notice when the controlling person shows trust.If he shows trust, respect or gives away little responsibility praise it.
• ·         Monitor the anxiety levels of the controlling person- they have no coping skills when they are stressed and believe that no one can do good jobs at something as they will. Be alert to the mood change and be on your toes.
• ·         Look for the positives- the best way is to look what you manage around the negative aspects and finding ways that you can get done what you need to do.
• ·         Assert yourself-the best way is to approach the controlling person in private and explains your concerns. Then keep conversation focused on how controlling behavior is tearing and affecting you.