Make your own choices-Assertiveness

Assertiveness means standing up for your personal rights, expressing thoughts, feeling and beliefs in direct, honest. It is opinions in an open manner that doesn’t violate the rights of others. It concerns being able to express feelings, wants, desires and wishes appropriately and is an important personal and interpersonal skill. It enables an individual to act in their own best interests, to stand up for themselves without undue anxiety, to express honest feelings and express personal rights without violating rights of others.

Characteristics of assertive people

• ·         Talk about yourself- when you do something interesting you can let your friends know about it, you don’t monopolize conversation but you can mention your achievements when the time is right.
• ·         Make a greeting-talk- you have to be friendly with people you want to know better an d smile and be pleased to see them.
• ·         Use feeling talk-you express your personal likes and interests spontaneously rather than stating things in neutral terms.
• ·         Accept compliments- you accept compliments graciously not disagreeing with them, and the purpose is to reward rather than punish your complimented.
• ·         Ask for clarification-here you can ask directions, instructions, or explanation, you can ask that person to restate them more clearly not going away confused and feeling dumb, ask politely for the person to repeat them.
• ·         Ask why- when you being ask to do something that is not reasonable or enjoyable you can ask “why do you want me to do that”
• ·         Be persistent-if you have legitimate complaint you can say it despite resistance from the other party until you’re answered or satisfied.
• ·         Avoid justifying every opinion- when you’re discussed and someone continually argues and asks you why, why you can stop the questioning by refusing to go along or by reflecting back to the other person. You can say “that’s the way I feel. Tell him/her I don’t have to justify everything I say.
• ·         Speak up for your rights-don’t allow others to take advantage of you when you feel put upon, you can demand your rights and ask to be treated with fairness and justice. You can say I was next in line or “excuse me, but you will have to leave as I have another appointment now “you can register your complaints firmly without blowing up.
• ·         Disagree mildly-when you disagree with someone, you can convey your disagreement mildly by looking away, raising eyebrows, or shaking your head, or changing the topic of conversation.
• ·         Express active disagreements-when you disagree with someone and feel sure of your ground you can express your disagreement by saying “I have a different view of that matter or my opinion is…”
• Use appropriate facial talk-you facial expressions and voice inflections convey the same feelings your words are conveying and look people directly in the eye when talking to them